Carlos had a meltdown.



Poor poor Carlos, my laptop, had probably had a gut full of me last week and decided to crash, as I tried to organise my life so that we could head off on our latest chickie road trip.

As usual, I had managed to leave almost everything till the last minute. I hadn’t packed or anything, and it was late and I had to be up at 4.30am to make it to the airport on time. (note to self: the flight was cheap because you will have to get up at sparrows fart to get there in time Sue you rocket scientist!)

So there I was, minding my own business, finishing off my work for the day, when Carlos made a funny noise… and then a very bad thing happened… first I got this pretty spinning rainbow wheel (lalalal puppies and rainbows… couldn’t be serious) and then oh oh…

The screen went white with this funny sign on it…


Ok Sue, don’t panic, stay calm, just google it on your phone ( yes I’m a thinker)

Thing is…

When you type ‘ my apple screen went white’ into google, you get a whole page of results starting with the words:


Oh holy, holy, fuckity fuck, this can’t be good.

Now it probably did not help that I was exhausted and had 6 hours left to fit in sleep and packing … which might explain why my mind went straight to disaster town

My Laptop 'Carlos' Had A MELTDOWN

Clearly he was broken, fucked, terminally ill… doomed!!!!

For those of you who read my newsletters, Carlos isn’t just any laptop… he is my friend, my buddy, my confidant, he comes on my chickie road trips, he listens as I type out my stories, my hopes my dreams, my plans… my massive to do lists… he never laughs or judges or makes snorting noises… he has endured my technological fuck ups, like when I didn’t update him for about 3 years and wondered why he couldn’t get anything done, he lets me save 6 million photos on my desktop and word docs with ridiculous names… without a word of complaint. He is my rock!

Carlos is truly a secret superhero. He’s found wifii for me in every state of Australia, worked in cafes, on beaches, in airports and bed. He didn’t even complain when I hid him under a couch cushion in a NYC air b+b (and accidentally sat on him all week because I forgot I’d put him there) Imagine flying all that way to see nothing but my arse sitting on you. What a trouper!


There was no time to curl up in a ball and cry… or even to eat a tub of medicinal icecream. I had no choice but to take a deep breath, give him a little hug, put him in his travel pack and get on with packing.

I didn’t dare turn him on until I got to Victoria the next morning… I drove back to Ballarat and made a brand new friend.

Barry from the computer repair shop

Sweet Barry, tried not to look at me like I was a loser when I told him that my laptop’s name is Carlos.

He prised Carlos ever so gently from my grip and hooked him up to lots of wires….

He didn’t snigger when I told him my password.

There was a loooong painful silence as he stared very seriously at his diagnostics screen.

He tried to be ever so gentle as he said… your hard drive is fucked love.

Carlos’s life flashed before my eyes.

Why had I thrown him around? Why had I not asked HIM where he wanted to go on our chickie road trips… why had I eaten chips while I was typing and gotten smudgy finger prints all over his shiny keyboard… why had a let so much dust build up on his beautiful screen… I should have put my hand over my nose when I sneezed that time…. I didn’t deserve to have him in my life.

I was a bad laptop owner.

But wait, in the distance, through the sound of my self recriminations (is that even a word?), I could hear Barry’s kind patient voice… there is hope.


A new fancy hard drive. One with no moving bits… he could do it now and everything would be ok.





So poor sick Carlos had a sleepover with his new bestie Barry.

I picked him up the next morning and


It’s like he’s on the roids… he’s never been so fast, so spritely, so on the ball…. Speeeeeeeeeeedy…. Full of joy!

Carlos is BACK

This would mean that all of my angst, my worry, my drama was for nothing, nought, zero.

In fact, the thing that I thought was the biggest disaster actually turned out to be the biggest blessing.

Well I’ll BE!

Who would have thought…

Now clearly, I can’t go back and change that I took an unscheduled trip to panic town, but I did ask myself the following questions:

What did having the nervous breakdown over something that was out of my control achieve?

Isn’t it about time I stopped doing that shit to myself?

All of that unnecessary stressing and freaking out, fearing the worst, only to end up with something amazing, the best outcome ever.

Then I asked myself my standard question these days…

How interesting, what can I learn from this?

I decided that I’m going to use this as a reference point for next time an unexpected disaster comes knocking at my door.

Next time I’m about to enter panic merchant town, I’m going to stop, think back and remember the "Carlos Crashes and Burns" chapter in the "History of Chickie" and I’m going to say, "Well hello there disaster, what new exciting adventure is coming my way?"

I’m going to look for the potential instead of wasting my time and energy on the dread factor…

And if you’ve made it to the end of this blog post my lovelies, please feel free to remember Carlos’ near death to glory experience next time YOU are facing a panic merchant opportunity of your own.

Maybe then my freak out will not have been in vain.


p.s. A message from Barry at the computer shop…. back up your computer NOW!

BlogSue Muller