(Chickie Mythbusters) Attention. No one is living a perfect life.
So good old Facebook threw a photo taken of me 12 months ago up in my personal news feed this week.
I really love this photo!
I was working in the sunshine that day with a beautiful client of mine, which is one of my favourite parts of this business that I have been working so hard to build and grow. I was also wearing my favourite boots, and wearing them ALWAYS makes me happy. It was just an all round, great moment in sporting history.
This gorgeous soul and I worked together for 3 months, and in that time, she was able to make some really incredible shifts in both her personal and professional life. She made some changes to her business that meant that she was booked out months in advance, launched 2 new products. She made huge changes to the way she lived and prioritized her relationships and self care. Best of all, she rediscovered what made her shine. God I was proud of her!
We celebrated our last session by working out in the sunshine, and it was so special.
It made me smile when I read the comments that were made on that photo:
Is that work?
I want your job.
Your definition of ‘work’ appears to differ slightly from mine.
Is that work?
LOVE the boots!
All totally reasonable comments and impressions to get from that shiny happy action shot.
But it did make me think.
Isn’t it interesting the assumptions that we all make about each other’s lives, often based upon the highlight reels that we see on social media.
To be fair, I try to keep my personal FB profile really personal and social. I don’t post smile chickie stuff in there. Lots of the people on my friends list don’t really know much about the work I do, how I do it, they mostly live ‘normal’ lives with ‘normal’ jobs. I love and adore every single one of them, and feel blessed to have them in my life.
All they see is me posting smiley pictures from lots of cheery places, usually laughing in the sun. Which is generally what they post on their own profiles too.
Of course that doesn’t look like work to them.
So why would they think anything different.
What I am trying to say is, how easy is it to assume that other people’s lives are perfect, sunny, cruisey…
Whether it’s from a business perspective, where people assume everybody else is successful, loaded, secure… that it comes so easily to them.
Or our personal lives. Being the perfect daughter, mother, sister, friend, citizen, lover, person.
We appear to be living lives of perpetual popularity and fun. Why is it so easy to fall into the trap of 'comparisonitis' and assume that everyone else has got their shit together except for us?
I took a look at my chickie social media feed. Of course it is also full of the sunny happy parts of life.
Maybe by following my feeds you would assume that I live this amazing, perfect, incredible whirlwind of a life… well you would be right, but just like the rest of the world, that is only one aspect of it.
So today lovely chickies, in the interests of complete transparency, I would like to let you know that
Choosing to live my life the way I do, to live the life less travelled isn’t all one big Corona in the sunshine.
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my life and I am so grateful for all of its blessings.
Taking the path that I have chosen, living this way is so fucking scary. It’s exhausting. It’s all of the things that freak me out… uncertainty, being vulnerable, putting myself out there, instability… aaargh! But that’s not a reason to stop doing it.
As a compete worry-wart and over-analyzer from way back, being brought up in a sheltered world where you do the expected thing, stay safe, secure and keep everyone happy; make no mistake, I wake up terrified almost every single morning. But I have learned to acknowledge that voice in my head, that feeling in my stomach and keep going anyway. I take that feeling as a sign that I am stretching out of my comfort zone, growing, doing what I need to do. It’s ok to feel fear… it’s just a feeling.
While I am quite cheeky and cheery (and tend to swear a lot) once I get to know you, before that I am actually quite shy. I am not an extrovert and it does not come naturally me to put myself out there publically like this, to have my head (which I have only in recent years learned to love) on the internet (gulp). Self promotion isn’t traditionally my thing. Putting myself out there in this business feels sort of like I’m half way up scaling a cliff. I am terrified of heights, and I’m too scared to look down and see how far I might fall and I’m too scared to look up and see how far I’ve got left to go… but I SO know that I want more than anything to reach where I’m going so have no choice but to keep taking deep breaths and keep ever so slowly moving inch by inch in the direction that I know I need to move to get there… all the time hoping like hell that I’ll be alright.
Working for yourself and on the internet can sometimes feel like you’re talking to yourself, as if maybe no one’s listening. At the start, when someone unsubscribes from your email list or unlikes your page or unfollows you, it feels like a dagger in the heart. Nowdays I don’t flinch, because it makes room for someone who wants to be part of smile chickie, who gets me. And then when someone comes up to you and says they know that your laptop’s name is Carlos - OMG happy dance!
When someone turns to you in a queue at the LA airport and says ‘are you that Smile Chickie chick? = major heart attack!
I get that living this way seems just plain impossible for so many people.
Or fanciful as a well-meaning relation once informed me.
That is cool.
I personally know people who make this work.
I have been watching with awe as they make their dreams reality over the last few years.
I have watched them grow their businesses and improve peoples lives with pure hard work and determination.
I know it is possible.
I’m going to keep on working hard, believing in myself, stepping forward and seeing what happens.
I know that nothing falls in your lap, that there is no such thing as an overnight success.
I know that I love what I do.
- Every time I see people wearing their Secret Superhero Rings, believing in themselves, taking on life… it is worth it.
- Every time I get to work with gorgeous coaching clients, investing in themselves and working hard to build upon their strengths and build lives that they love… it is worth it.
- Every time someone signs up to my newsletter list or signs up for my 5 Days 5 Ways e-challenge. … its worth it.
- When my daughters get to see that its ok to live the life they want… it’s worth it.
- When they see me get back up again when I fall… it’s worth it.
- Every time I get an email or a message or comment from another smile chickie saying that my work made a difference to them… it’s worth it.
- If it gives one other chickie the courage to live their own dreams … SO SO SO worth it!
So next time you are looking at my social media feeds (and thank-you if you are YOU ROCK!!)
If you catch yourself thinking, yeah its all right for her, it’s easy to say smile and be grateful when your life is perfect… I would love for you to stop and to know these things-
Is my life perfect? - No f*cking way.
Do I know fear? - Yes. Intimately.
Do I know hurt and betrayal - Sure do baby, like the back of my hand!
Do I know being scared to check my bank balance? – Most certainly.
Do I do disaster - Yep!
Do I fuck up - Yep regularly and spectacularly.
Am I a magnificent work in progress… Why yes I am :)
Everyone has a story
And if knowing some of mine gives one other person the courage to live their own dreams, to not listen to what the world tells them that they should or can do, then I’ll be stoked.
So lovely chickies, who’s up for climbing this scary cliff of life with me?
Trust me, if I can do it, so can you.
If you aren’t up for climbing right now, that’s cool.
We can give you a hand up whenever you feel ready.
Maybe it will help to just watch the rest of us go ahead and show you that it’s safe.
I’m nothing more than a chick having a crack at life and hoping to show and inspire others that it’s ok to:
I would so love for you to join me … in whatever way works for you.
Oh and next time you catch yourself comparing your life to someone else’s shiny perfect news feed, stop and think again my lovely.
You are enough.