How to forgive your past, and live a life you love.
Today I ran into someone that I used to know. A few years ago she went to a lot of trouble to hurt me
She deliberately contributed to the irretrievable breakdown of a business and relationship I had invested almost 10 years of my life in. The fall-out also included the destruction of a treasured family relationship.
At the time I struggled to understand why a person who I considered to be family would do that to me.
The only choice I could see at the time was to hold my head high, to trust that I would survive. To have faith that no matter what was said about me, the people who truly knew me and loved me would see above the bullshit and still stand by my side. Of course the ones who counted did.
I had to learn how to forgive my past.
Anyway, the news in this story is not the perceived crime - it is in the lesson.
You see, today I ran into this person at the supermarket (I always suspected that hanging out in the veggie section would lead to trouble!)
We exchanged meaningless pleasantries and went on our separate ways.
AND I did not feel any pain.
I was shocked to realize that I truly did not give a fuck!
I kept checking in with myself, surely there was just a tinge of hurt, anger, resentment… nope nothing, zilch, nadda, ZERO.
Well “I’ll be!”
I do believe this means that I have glimpsed forgiveness.
The kind of forgiveness that they talk about in all of those shiny self-help books. The kind of forgiveness that Oprah and Dr Phil are always going on about.
Holy shit I’ve evolved!
When the hell did that happen?
(insert happy dance here)
I felt like going back and thanking her
I felt like buying a bunch of flowers and giving her a hug
She has no idea that situation all of those years ago, led to me now living a life that brings me so much joy.
I’m glad I chose to try to learn from the experience, to not waste precious time focusing on the negative and to move forward, mindful of not making the same mistakes twice.
I felt proud to have shown my daughters by example how to get past stuff like this not tied up with pointless and boring bitterness and regret.
What happened did make me tougher and more streetwise.
It made me realize that the world isn’t always fair or kind and that I can’t control the actions of others.
I now see that time in my life as a turning point.
A time when I stood up for myself
Defined my boundaries, how I wanted to live my life and how I would tolerate being treated.
I am stronger and wiser and happier and FREEEEEEEEEE because of that experience.
And I am so grateful.
Simple fact of the matter is that I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing now if it wasn’t for that situation.
I wouldn’t have started smile chickie
I wouldn’t be doing this work that I love. Work that I am proud of.
Helping others to have the courage to do the same.
There are so many amazing people I’ve met and adventures I’ve been on all because of that experience and what it taught me.
The relationships that I choose today are richer and different.
The lesson for me today was that when life throws you a curve ball, you can choose to wallow in the injustice of it all, or use the experience as an opportunity to grow and evolve
At the time what I saw was hurt and betrayal.
It was difficult to see it for what it was.
But now I see it as one of the greatest gifts of my life.
So lovely chickies, are you brave enough to look inside your heart and see if there is a hurt you are carrying that isn’t serving you anymore?
Take a moment.
Light a candle and let go of what has hurt you.
Because when you do, what is left behind is a beautiful empty space that you can fill with sunshine and laughter and the stuff that really matters.
What might seem like the end of the world right now, could well turn out to be the biggest blessing you have ever received.