Giving up on my dreams.


Yes lovely chickies, the headline is true.

I have given up on my hopes and dreams and by god it makes me happy.

The other day, I got a message from a friend I haven’t seen for a long time.

She told me that she “ hoped that all my dreams come true”.

It was lovely of her. She said it kindly and with the very best of intentions.

I really appreciated the sentiment.

But that sentence got me to thinking (AH the good old curiosity factor…. thanks Brene Brown for writing Rising Strong)

Got me to thinking about my life these days.

The way that I

Live it

Look at it

Love it

has changed so much.

Once upon a time, I would have come up with a dream: a pretty picture of how I thought things should look and be, a magical place where everything was perfect; then sat back and prayed to the magical dream fairy to wave her magic wand and get that shit happening for me PRONTO thanks very much.

Not so much anymore.

These days when I hear those words, they sound like something I don’t want any more.

Passive, uncertain, distant.

“I hope that your dreams come true” sounds as if you just pick a dream and wait patiently for it to fall magically into your lap.

If you are worthy, or lucky enough.

It smells like putting off your happiness today for some far off possibility.

How many of us are or have spent so many years, so much time saying

I’ll be happy when I’m…

  • Skinnier
  • Prettier
  • Fitter
  • Richer
  • When I have that job, that house, that life, that baby, those shoes, grown my fringe out…

What a waste.

I’m glad that I’m not a wishing and waiting for dreams come true kind of chick anymore.

These days, I know these things for sure:

  1. Sometimes the things you wish for turn out to NOT be what you thought they would be, or wanted.
  2. Sometimes the things you didn’t wish for turn out unexpectedly to be the best things that ever happened to you.
  3. If you spend your whole life wishing for something that may or may not happen in the future, you risk missing out on the magic that is sparkling away right in front of you NOW.
  4. Nothing feels quite like the joy and satisfaction of doing rather than dreaming.
  5. Which is why these days, I’m more of a start walking in the direction of how you want to feel and live kind of chick.

I’m more about making small daily choices, working on my personal development, learning from and celebrating my imperfections.

I don’t want an airy fairy dream, I deserve something more tangible, I want that incredible feeling of satisfaction that comes with making empowered choices, of knowing that I’m worth it. Outcomes that I can look back on and go yeah, I worked my arse off to make that happen.

It’s kind of like cooking a magnificent meal.

I don’t want to just say abracadabra and its there. – ta DA!

I want to drool over recipe books and choose what I would really love to eat. Pick some recipes I’ve made and loved before, and maybe a couple of new trickier one’s that I’ve never attempted.

I want to wander through the supermarket or the farmers market and pick out what I’ll need. Smell the mangoes and look at the ingredients and make informed choices about what I put into my body/basket.

When I get home, I want to grab a bottle of wine, put on some music and use every dish/ pot/pan in the house doing my very best Nigella impersonation.

I want to choose who is sitting at my dinner table, sharing a meal and our time together.

People who are REAL, who know me and love me just as I am and the feeling is mutual.

I want people at the table who won’t judge me on whether I plated up properly or on what it tastes like (al – la Bridget Jones’s blue soup)

I don’t want the glossy magazine spread life, I want the messy reality and to enjoy, soak, and appreciate every precious moment.

Before I start cooking that meal, I want to write a post it note and stick it on my door

Dear Magical Dream Fairy,

Thanks so much for dropping by today. I really appreciated it.

But it’s ok, I don’t need your help. I’ve got this covered.

Why don’t you go home and put your feet up and take it easy for a change.


So today I’m saying a great big cheers to my dreams not coming true, well not in the passive, one dimensional sense anyway.

Because these days I know that there’s something different and better.

There’s knowing yourself, knowing what brings you joy and satisfaction and making small choices to walk towards that every single day.

There’s noticing and celebrating milestones and wins along the way.

There’s celebrating the milestones and wins of the gorgeous people who walk beside me on their own journeys too.

And choosing to learn from (and laugh at) the falls and the hiccups

That’s my plan Stan …. What’s yours?

BlogSue Muller