Letting sh*t go.
(WARNING: this post may contain the word sh*t A LOT of times… I tried to think of a different word that would convey the same feeling, but nothing else seemed to cut it… apologies in advance. xxx)
Today as I was going about my own business, some shit came up that in a previous life would have really upset me, gotten under my skin… rattled my cage, pressed my buttons.
But today… it just didn’t.
I registered a tiny little sting, and then I went… oh well… and got right on with my morning.
A bit later, over my yummy Sunday Vietnamese soup in the car because it decided to bloody rain, I was thinking about it and I realized.
Nothing has changed about the world, that kind of sh*t happens to us all, all of the time.
The change is in me…
and I can’t begin to tell you what a lovely feeling that is.
Want me to tell you the secret of my chickie transformation?
(well you’re here, so you might as well have a listen…)
There's this thing I've been trying to do a whole lot more these days, and I cannot believe how much peace, joy and extra energy it’s been bringing to my world.
It's something that takes practice… and every now and then I’ll temporarily relapse (aka hello am HUMAN), but I'm finally starting to see the benefits.
What is it I hear you ask? Come good…
Well it is a superhero strength, but it’s not push-ups or hand stands, learning to speak Spanish or play the drums (insert sigh of relief from the neighbours here), it’s something that sounds really simple.
But when you’ve spent a lot of your life doing quite the opposite, it can be a tricky habit to break.
The transformation started a few years ago now, when a wise old woman (*cough* = me) said to me:
From now on, there is one kind of sh*t that you need to worry about, and that’s your own.
Yep I took a deep breath and decided that it was about time I spent more time worrying about pleasing myself and less time paying attention to what other people think (aka focusing my own sh*t)
By lord it’s taken me some practice to get good at!
But it has totally been worth it.
Today after the mini sting, I thought back to my less wrinkly years, and realize how much energy I was burning up, plain old wasting on stuff like:
What people were saying about me.
What they thought of me.
Whether they were judging me, or my choices.
Gossipy, judgmental sh*t used to wind me up too...
People shaming mothers who can't breastfeed (god there’s a plethora of unfair shit that people put on mothers, don’t even get me started…)
Dissing other people’s dietary choices (if someone chooses to be a vegan or paleo, or live soley and wholey on Maccas… whose business is it aside from theirs FFS)
Judging other people's choices and lifestyles in general.
Making assumptions about people because of their weight, appearance, or religion.
And then there’s the taking on shit which is out of your control.
Other people’s happiness.
Other people’s problems.
Other people’s dramas.
Basically I came to the conclusion that there are three kinds of sh*t that I could happily let go of:
- Sh*t coming at me
- People being sh*tty (judgmental shit)
- Other people’s sh*t
I’m sure that there are plenty of other examples out there, but these are the 3 I decided were totally unnecessary in my life.
Fast-forward through lots of practice, and a few years down the track, boy am I glad that I did!
These days, I am SO much better at letting sh*t slide.
When confronted with it, I like to ask myself questions like these:
Who f*cking cares?
Is this REALLY important?
Does it have to have to affect my day?
Is it worth it?
Of course, the flip side of those questions and scenarios is that I don't get to judge anyone else either. (fairs fair after all!)
When temptation strikes, I ask myself:
Is this any of my business?
Did anyone even ask me for my opinion?
What is my intention?
What is judging someone else saying about me?
Does it enhance my life?
Will it add value to theirs?
How would it feel if the tables were turned?
How could I do or see this differently?
Or the super speedy version… How about you worry about you own sh*t first Sue?
It’s really not rocket science…
More a simple decision to let go of the stuff that was out of my control, and just get on with being happy.
I'm living my life the best way that I know how with what I've got.
And you know what?
So is everybody else.
I try to surround myself with like-minded souls who support and love me for me, and I do my best to return the favour.
And to get on with giving life the best shot I can.
Getting into the habit of letting go off that unnecessary shit, left me with truckloads of spare time and energy to spend on the stuff that matters … score!!!
So lovely chickies, let me leave you with a suggestion in the wise words of Molly Meldrum... “do yourself a favour” and consider letting go of some of your sh*t too… I promise you wont regret it.