Merry. Merry. Merry. Surviving change and smiling.
Hey there lovely chickies,
I’m coming to you from the hairdresser today. (woot woo!)
Come December, it’s the perfect place to hide from the world outside.
I’m sitting here savoring a coffee that I didn’t have to make myself, surrounded by sea of glossy magazines, the sweet smell of toner in the air, Christmas carols on repeat - sigh!
Happily foiled up, swiveling around joyfully in my chair…
I look like a blissed out Christmas bauble.
You may have noticed that I have been a bit quiet on the blogging front the last couple of weeks. (oops… sorry!)
Because I am such an over-achiever (or a dickhead, you decide), I have chosen to combine this year’s Christmas rush with a couple of big life changes (of which I’m sure to thrill you with more details of in upcoming blogs)
Short version is, that I’ve been hanging out in transition-land – a destination that I looove to visit.
It’s funny because, change used to terrify me.
Don’t get me wrong.
I still get that underlying wound-up anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever the change-fairy comes to town.
Difference now is that I recognize it for what it is
I don’t get scared and let fear paralyse me anymore.
The inevitable follow-up visit from my mean voice, doesn’t scare me these days either. You know the one I’m talking about…
“Just play it safe, you don’t deserve any more than what you’ve already got.”
“Who the hell do you think you are?”
“It’s all going to come crashing down…”
“What if you fail?”
“It’s too good to be true… you don’t deserve this.”
“You will end up a poor, homeless cat lady and everyone will say I told you so!”
“Oh and by the way, you have a HUGE arse!”
These days, I see her coming.
Hi love, welcome back, it’s going to be ok.
These days I get that the stories the mean girl in my head tells me are just that: stories.
I acknowledge her, thank her for her concern and then I get on with moving forward.
Because life is precious and I’ve got stuff to do!
I’m not in the business of letting old habits and stories hold me back any more.
So while my inner mean girl has been busy panicking that she’s about to get booted out of her comfort zone, I’ve been busy ignoring her, and working on my laptop under a tree. Realizing clearer than ever that living my dream life is totally possible (AND HAPPENING) and the only thing standing in my way is ‘me’.
In order to fast-track ‘me’ out of my own way, I’ve been busy fine-tuning a few old tricks from my chickie toolbox.
A big one being good old : Looking and listening
Practicing observing myself and ‘my world’ through ‘beginners eyes’; as if I have never seen it before.
It’s kind of confronting to wipe the grime off my rose-coloured glasses and re-look at the self-sabotaging habits that I have finely tuned over the last 40 something (cough) years.
Noticing how I react, how I cope when things get shaky.
It’s also been so helpful to take a good hard look at what is in my control, and what is not.
I have been fascinated to see just how much of that ‘SO NOT in my control’ stuff I still find myself sorely tempted to
- take on,
- take personally; and
- Have a crack at controlling anyway.
Sweet Jesus Sue!!! Give it a rest.
So after a few months of moving and shifting and navigating mountains, bumps and potholes, this foiled up, tired but cheery Christmas bauble chickie feels like she’s put the 2014 cake into the oven. Now I’m going to go and pour myself a glass of wine and hang out with the people I love rather than stand at the oven door hovering and trying to tell that cake how it should do its thing.
So much has been happening this last week in Australia, on top of the usual pre-Christmas/end of year rush. It feels like as a community, events have, broken our hearts open, left us feeling numb and raw.
Such a huge reminder to appreciate the simple stuff, to hold the people you love close and to give yourself a break.
Whatever recipe you used for 2014 lovely people.
You have done what you could,
Put that cake in the oven.
What will come out will come out.
Let’s step into 2015 together and watch the magic unfold.
Thanks for being part of smile chickie. You could have no idea how grateful I am to each and every one of you being a part of this inspiring, supportive community. You have enriched my life, and each other’s lives in ways you might never know or imagine.
I am so grateful.
See you in the New Year