Note to my 20 year old self.


Dear lovely 80’s chick,

Today we will not mention the perm! (frankly, your hairdo decisions over the last few years truly deserve a blog post all of their own.)

I know you are having a crap day/week/month/year.

Work sucks.

Your love life is in the toilet

You’ve just backed your car into a pole.

And some FOOL has discontinued your favourite blue eye-shadow. (NOOOOO!!!)

Everyone seems way happier than you.

Yep, they’ve all got their shit totally together.

I’m hearing you sister!!!

Now I know that things right now seem





Fair enough too!

BUT before you

Collapse into a messy heap on the floor

Send that angry letter you’ll regret (believe me, in a few years time, they’ll invent texts and emails and you’ll be able to humiliate yourself on a speedier, and much larger scale)

Get out of a spoon and that jumbo tub of ice-cream.

I beg you.

Please step away from that cask of west coast cooler (trust me, the stuff is evil)

And advise the mean voice in your head telling you that you’re fat, ugly, and useless anyway… blah-te-blah to bugger off!

Because I’m here to tell you that


In fact, over the coming 25 years there will be other stuff

Broken friendships

Broken hearts

Broken business relationships



A gazillion epic “mother of the year” fails


Tough times

Career changes

Days when every fibre of your being just wants to pull the blankets over your head and hide from everything and everyone…

You know you can’t though, because the world just keeps on turning

Good news is

I can absolutely tell you that none of it will break you!!!!

You will survive and you will thrive and eventually some of the disasters will even be funny.

(not the perm, that will NEVER be funny )

In time you will come to realize that these things do not define you.

It’s all just stuff.

Stuff that over time will magically weave itself into the most intricate amazing fabric that will make up the magnificent story of your life.

It will be learning to rise above this stuff that will make you who you are.

It might not seem like it today but you are really tough!

You ARE going to learn to use these disasters as lessons to learn about: who you really are. what brings you joy. how you can do things differently. what’s in your control and what’s just not. who you really need in your life and who you don’t what your boundaries are and how it feels when they are disrespected.

You WILL keep putting one foot in front of the other walking forward. Some days they will be tiny mindful determined steps and other days massive strides bounding forward into living a life that is richer and full of fun, learning, love and laughter.

Lots of people around you can already see the awesome bundle of potential that you are. They notice the magic that is uniquely you! You might not see it yet But you’re going to have to trust them (and me).

For now, please spare yourself unnecessary angst and listen when I tell you that

You are enough.

You have skills and talents (drinking and texting will not be one of them but we can talk about that another day)

A special kind of magic that is uniquely yours.

You also have an absolute right to your choices dreams decisions

It’s YOUR heart It's YOUR life It’s YOUR energy It’s YOUR story to write and to live

So lovely 80’s chick, I feel your fear, your uncertainty and self doubt. Congratulations on being human. I can absolutely tell you that you can find the strength to keep moving and to thrive.

Please try to remember that the person you have to please is you. Not the (often well meaning) dickheads on the sidelines… let them worry about their own shit (trust me, they’ve got plenty)

In time you will trust yourself, believe in yourself and step into your power. Pinkie promise I will be waiting for you at the other end with a big hug and a glass of something much nicer than a west coast cooler! Trust your gut Have faith

You might not know it yet, but you are actually pretty f*cking amazing…



(btw while I’m here, your bum does SO not look big in those jeans and for god’s sake MOISTURISE!)

What do you wish you could tell your 20 year-old self?

Would she have listened anyway?

BlogSue Muller